Last Day

It was late afternoon, and our staff line up has changed since we last spoke; but more on that later.

I was logging some reorder requests when I heard a deep voice breathe in wonder:

“It’s beautiful!”

I turn casually and notice Solarian Ring of Justice guy. I immediately shift my weight and sigh, still typing, and not really resisting a glance at the new kids who were staring at him in echoed awe and barely controlled excitement. Because everytime this guy shows up, you know a story is coming.

Let’s just get this over with. “See anything you like?” I say brightly, turning away from the computer.
“Hello!” he short-circuits himself in surprise.
“Hi.”
“Have you ever seen anything more beautiful and more perfect in your life?” Solarian says in a low whisper, transfixed as he caresses the black Silver Surfer t-shirt in his hands.
“That’s the Silver Surfer. He’s one of your favourites huh?”
“His name is Norrin and his planet was in danger. And because he was noble and because he was wise he gave up his life in order to save it.”
“Well he made a deal with Galactus right?”
“Yes! Yes he did! But Galactus wasn’t going to eat his planet!” His eyes became wide with a paranoid concern; “NO! THAT WASN’T HOW IT HAPPENED!” Solarian slams his hand on the counter, the sound muffled against the black cotton.
I lean back and spot a customer who was gripping a comic in his hand and stupidily he stepped forward “It was a meteor that was threatening his home planet. Galactus swore that he could stop it, if only Silver Surfer could become his herald.”
Solarian turns to the guy and says in a slowly rising voice “That.Was.What.I.Just.Said. I JUST SAID THAT!”

Nice. I started a fight with a single misinterpreted sentence.

I sigh deeply and try to change the conversation back to work “So, Silver Surfer, he looks great on that shirt huh?”
Solarian stares the much smaller and much meeker man into submission, and as the other customer turns away Solarian turns back to me.
“He had a girlfriend, with fire for hair.”
“Sorry?”
“Norrin. His girlfriend was beautiful, with long hair made out of cosmic fire. Her name was Nova”
“Um, sorry can’t recall her. Only Nova I know is a dude. He did have some long hair in the late eighties though. He’s still around; so what about that shirt?” I say quickly, without thinking.
“Nova was a woman” Solarian says, licking his lips nervously.
“Um, maybe you are thinking of Cassandra Nova?” I continue my vague talk, foolishly forgetting who it was I was talking to here.
“YES!” he said stabbing the air three inches from my chest, across the counter; surprising me into a frown.“-AND she was a woman! Sexy. Smart. The whole package.”
At this stage, one of my co-workers mutters “Too bad she was bald and an X-Men villan”
I watch Solarian fiddle with the tag as it was his turn to be stared down. No-one invades my personal space without a reprimanding death stare.
“It really is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It’s so glorious. He was a scientist, a man full of worldly knowledge that stood up to the Devourer of Worlds. A real hero. My hero.” He finally says, a thick hand still tracing the silver puffy painted design.

I smile weakly and respond “It’s not that expensive, $29.95.”
“Really? I can afford that. Will this fit me?”
“No; because that is a medium and you’re gonna need an XL”
“Okay.”
I motion for a co-worker to fetch the appropriate size and watch them struggle for a bit, but finally reaching a silent agreement. My co-worker rolls his eyes at me as he dumps the shirt before me, and leans back against the counter, not saying anything.
As Solarian reaches into his pockets for his wallet, I notice the freaked out customer from before give me a terrified glance and I smile apologetically back; well what else could I do? Solarian may be crazy, but he’s a paying customer. Plus the guy looked suburbian as all hell; a little City Crazy action never hurt anyone. I turn back to Solarian who dumps his ratty wallet onto the counter and starts pulling out $20 bills, all crumply and greasy. He stops at $60 and asks “Is this enough?”
“Yeah, but take one back.”
“You don’t need it?”
“No. You do.”
He smiles at me and coughs his rattling smokers cough.
“Want a bag?” as I finish putting it through on the register.
“Yes please.”
I place the receipt with the shirt and begin to hand the plastic bag over when he says bluntly:
“I need to take that out.”
“The receipt?” I say watching him fumble inside for the small slip of paper.
“Yes. It is an Important Document; and I keep all my Important Documents in my wallet. Most people these days put those in their mobile phones but I don’t. It’s all in here.” He says, showing me the dirty scruffy interior of his wallet; stuffed with pieces of paper, scribbled notes and cards.
“Mobile phone?” I ask, but mostly to myself. How can one keep a receipt in a phone?
“Yes, and I don’t need one.” he says proudly, placing the receipt in his wallet, stuffing it into his back pocket and holding the bag loosely to his side.
“Alright?” I say for not having anything else to say.
“My uncle had a phone. Made out of wood, really nice and it was able to communicate with everyone on the planet. He kept it in his house. It was his house phone, you know what I’m saying?”
My co-worker mutters under his breath “No...”
I nod slowly “Sure..”
“A phone so powerful it could do anything a mobile can do but better and twice over because it came from the earth. You know what I mean?”
I realise my jaw had come somehow unhinged and I snap it shut “Yeah, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it right? “
Solarian grins widely and snorts happily. “Bye! I have to get home before my parents’ murder me in my sleep! But by God this is a beautiful thing!” he says bringing the bag to eye level and squinting at it through the thick plastic.
I notice my other co-workers exchanging looks and I scratch my chin, thankful this was my last day before a very much needed 11 day break. “Goodbye.” I say finally.

Solarian leaves and before he walks through the door he breaks into song “Silver Surfer! Herald of Galactus! OH YEAH!”

I grin and turn to my two co-workers who burst out laughing.

Quote of the Day

The Fly (possibly not his real name) comes up to the counter to buy a copy of Amazing Spider-Man.

The Fly: 'Just put it in two paper bags.'

Me: 'You need two paper bags?'

The Fly: 'Yes, because I have something wet. Because I just brushed my teeth. You know what I mean.'


- I don't. I really don't.