Where did all the Freaks Go?

Amongst the stories that have been collected in a sordid notebook, I say Bonjour. I am only saying it in French to piss Herr Starr off. It really HAS been quiet, not much has been happening at this front, apart from me dodging a few people, and being confronted by some.
First of all, I haphazardly edit my posts, so your little snide remarks about my spelling, grammar and how I was "weak" in expressing my opinion, let me just say that in the comic book world, opinion is changed more times a day that a colostomy bag, and in here speeling and witing doesn't mattrs.

So I was thinking about letting you all know about the couple that accosted me with their unhealthy Donald Duck obsession, on and on about insurance and quality cost price, but what's amusing about that? I palmed them off to Kamen, and Karma decided to punch me, by being forced to listen to the woman talk about her immense "Black Labrador" figurine collection, she actually hunted me down to inform me that she had over 2000 and that not two were the same. She actually kept switching back and forth between Labradors and Donald Duck, (I was hoping she'll snap, like a violin string and say something fucked up like "Black Donald eats Chow and Daisy") and her husband was one of those creepy men that should have been be a wino but somehow ended up with money. He reminded me of Aliza's father in My Fair Lady.
I hated them. Only because they made me visualise what their house would look like and now I can never be the same. Ever.

But the real reason for writing, was a little gift curtsy of Freaky Friday:

Man: (opening his mouth wide and licking the sides of his lips in a grotesque manner) Do you have Smurfs?
Me: Where?
Man: In the store? Like figures of them. (Still licking his lips, this times ONE eye widening in his face as he waited for me to speak, and my eyes could not tear themselves from the drool he was dragging all over his face)
Me: (stammers) Uh no we did have them and uh, we sold out....
(I frown, how did his eye do that?)
Man: (Looks over his friend and flicks his tongue to lick repeatedly at his own top lip) They don't have any smurfs Toby.
Friend: (Looks disappointed) Aw...
Me: If they ever decided to make anymore we'll definitely get them in. They are very popular.
Man: (Looks back at me and sticks his tongue so far to the left of his mouth I thought he was going to eat his eye) Ok. We'll I'll guess we'll keep looking forward to the day. Ta!

What is so provocative and desirable about small blue people? Actually, to tell you the truth, I really don't want to know.

Cover of the Week

"I like it when you touch me...here"

Special Mention

"I am so BUFF!"
"I AM SO BUFF"