Godfather Archilles

Sometimes you really do not know what to expect at work that day. It's that feeling of sheer terror at the naked face of geekdom that gets up out of bed each morning. Trust me.

I was behind the counter when this man walks in, let's say that he looked like the Greek lovechild of Charlie Chaplin and Grouchu Marx. The best part was that he was wearing a jacket that may as well have been made of slow burning hemp. He smelt so strongly of weed, that the giant joint peeking out of his top pocket could not be denied.
This man looks around, crazingly piling bobble head toys from the Looney Tune collection. Suddendly, and after I had stopped what I was doing and openly staring at him in horror. That he burst out with:

"Where is the Biiird?"
I cock my head with a puzzled expression.
"You know, the biiiird, the bird from the show. You HAVE EVERYTHING ELSE but where is the biiiird?"
"I'm sorry, what bird?"
"The one that the cat takes, and puts him in sandwich."
"Oh you mean Tweety!"
"Yes...THE BIIIIIIIRD"
"Oh we don't have that one, it sold out a long time ago. Sorry."
"BUT YOU HAVE EVERYTHING ELSE....WHY NOT THE BIIIIIIIRD?"
"I'm sorry.."
"Ok..I take all these" He says waving at the 20 odd bobble-head figures and assorted crap.
"I want you to take this to Joes. The smoke shop not even a block from here, Half a block. Tell him Archilles sent you."
"What?"
"What's the problem? You take this to Joe. I paid, you deliver to smoke shop down the road."
"Ok, but you know that once this stuff leaves the store, I'm not responsible."
"You give to Joe, I know Joe. No problem. You think there is a problem?"
"No..."
I stare at him withb upmost contempt. And mumbling to myself I start writing "ARCHILLES" on a piece of paper...
"How do you spell it Herr?"
"Are you seriously going to take it over there?" He said with this tone of saying goodbye to an old friend who is going to war...but sighing he spells it out for me.
"Well, I have to, don't I?" I said angrily taking this huge white plastic sack down the Street.
I get to the Joe Smokes Shop and I walk in the dingy badly lit space.
"Are you Joe?" I ask the tall, arms across chest burly hairy man before me.
Joe nodded.
"Do you know Archilles?"
"Yeah" he said without a trace of suspicion in his voice.
"He sent there here for you. He'll be coming back later to collect them."
"Ok."
"You're definetly Joe?"
"Yeah I am, No problem, you think there is a problem?"
"No.."

I walk out shaking my head.
I then suddendly remembered that Archilles had also bought two sets of Speedy Gonzales toys.

What.....the......fuck......?