Attack of the Miss Marvel Bimbette

I am going to make this long and winded. Because of this woman, I said "Yes" to copious amount of gin to be poured down my throat in a dire attempt to forget such a creature could exist, and exist she did, on what was supposed to be my "ease back into work" day.

Thrusting her folder on the counter, that is, she grasped it and slammed it a few times while aiming it at me, the blond blue eyed girl screeched at me
"Do you have the issue where Captain America got assassinated?"
"No, we have sold out" I said while eyeing the gyrating folder. After a few more slams she opens it, and pulls out a Comic Shop News pamphlet.
"But this says it's in stores now!" she whines.
"Yes but that News is old news...it's sold out now".
"Fine. Show me where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are"
As she walks off, her knobbly thin friend says something to her, but all I hear as I slide out of the counter, is the sound of Herr Starr mumble underneath his breath
"For the love of Frank Zappa...make it stop."

I raise an eyebrow and then my back arches as she screeches "Oh this is a part of me you don't see! I'm a comic book loving girl now and today I'm going to buy my first comic eva!"
My shoulders slump as I show her the TMNT books.
"But these are not in colour, and they aren't moving!" she whimpers.
I quickly put the book back and head back to the counter. Thankfully she spots a Miss Marvel trade and starts squealing "Oh my gosh! It's Miss Marvel! She's so fucking hot!"
I turn to Herr "I'm going to go take a drink of water. At the back. Where the water is."
"You leave this counter and you lose a leg." He says deadpan.

The girl hugs the Miss Marvel trade and trots towards me. At this stage I hand her her folder back since I was serving another customer. She takes it from me, apologises and then says
"Do you have Miss Marvel Year One?"
"Uh, that will be $23.95. Thanks" stuffing the money in the drawer I turn to her "She has no origin story", hopefully she's too stupid to question me.
Damn that Herr Starr.
"There is an Essential Miss Marvel on the Shelf. It's in black and white though," He smirks.
"Nooo...." she pouts and sounters off.
It's my turn to glare at him, but unfortunatly for me, evil is his source of nourishment as his smirk just grows wider.

After listening to her stupid knobbling friend go on and on, about how dweeby comic book "nerds" are, which made me laugh since he looked like an extra on a Christian Rock video, for about ten minutes; I had my head in between my hands and Herr Starr was leaning on the counter, with that glazed look he gets when he is picturing himself committing murder.

"Do you have X-men cards?" The Dweed finally spits at me.
"The trading card flair series...back from the 1990's? All gone. Only have a few left."
"I have 60 of them. Will you buy them off me?"
"No. You can sell them on Ebay for whatever price you want."
"5 bucks a card?" He asks all sly, like a dirty flea infested fox with nothing to lose.
"Sure....why not?"
"I can make $300 bucks! That will get me a Playstation 3!"

I know what else you can get....I glare at him.

"Hey .... what do you know about Miss Marvel?" Says the Bimbette about to bust from her top.
"Not much... except that Rougue took her powers ages ago, and that's why she's so strong and can fly" I sigh.
"Rogue...as in the X-men movies??"
"Well..yeah she's in the comics too"
"She wears green and has a white streak? Halle Berry looks so hot playing her!"

I turn to Herr Starr who starts to softly chuckle to himself.

"Oh look at all these Star Wars cards! God I hate my mother, she was so mean! She never let me watch the movies!" She wails.
"Don't say that in a comic book store! You'll get killed!" says the Dweed, darting his eyes to what can only be imaginary geeks with hatchets circling him.
"You're not missing much" says Herr nonchantly with an cruel smile.
"What are you talking about? Star Wars rocks!" The Dweeb says fist clenching.
"No it doesn't" I say shaking my head slowly.
"Yes it does! Hey do you play Final Fantasy?"
"No"
"That game beats all this nerd crap! - Let's GO."

"I love Miss Marvel!!!!" says the bimbette sighing and touching the cover of her trade.